In the 21st century the last thing that needs to be debated is whether or not the idea of rape is good or bad. We do however have to really dig into the reality of what our culture has allowed to exist and even help thrive simply because of our terrible discourse surrounding the information. There are ideas that we need to consider and others we need to erase altogether simply because the truth is not as blurry as our society tries to make it.
The first idea we need to dispel is that rape is about sex. You have often heard rape called sexual assault or even a “crime of passion”. Rape is not sexual. Rape is not passionate. Rape and sex have nothing to do with each other. Rape is not an act of sexual desire being swapped in a reckless manner; rape is an act of coercive theft of another human beings ability to decide. It is a hierarchal stand against the weak made by the strong. It is not sexual, it is not passionate, and it is not conducive to mutual agreements built on horizontal care and concern amongst the involved individuals. The shallow discourse surrounding rape in our society has tried in it’s earnest to build an understanding around rape to constitute a sexual tone within the argument, and this is simply so we can create a society that impugns victims as if somehow it is their fault that they forcefully had their ability to decide taken from them. Our patriarchal social order wants you to believe that rape is about sex because there is so much terrible misinformation concerning sex already.
Another utterly foolish piece of discourse swirling around the discourse concerning rape is the idea that there is no such thing as 100% good consent. This, my friends, is an absolute red flag of a point and anyone who makes this statement should be called out for being a rape apologist as soon as it is said and not a second later. The fact is there is no such thing as bad consent. Consent is good all of the time, within the confines of a clear mind when it is being given. There is however a misunderstanding of what consent actually is. Consent is not moving your hand up a woman’s leg when she looks away after telling you she is tired. Consent is not asking your partner for sex over and over again until she gives in just to get you to shut the fuck up. Consent is not waiting until the person you are interested in becomes so incredibly intoxicated that their inhibitions have become handicapped beyond the ability to clearly decide what is ok. Consent IS good when it IS given ALL OF THE TIME.
Rape falls under the umbrella of male violence. Certainly not all of the perpetrators of rape are male, but 99% of rapes are generally carried out by males according to the victims. Rape falls under the scope of male violence because its intent is misogynistic in nature, essentially the idea of men feeling entitled to a woman’s body in the most heinously obvious way. Men’s removing the choice to decide what a woman does with her body in a coercive way, such as rape, is the definition and full effect of what the patriarchy seeks to do in our society. Trying to diminish the act as mere folly on the part of the victim is the bane of the social contract and is nothing more than the arrogance of a culture of rape designed and legitimized by our patriarchal social order.
The worst thing we can do as a society is to hear the plights and concerns of a victimized people or person and dismiss them for the sake of a cheap laugh and that is exactly what our society has done within the context of rape. Our society has become so desensitized by hierarchal systems of coercion driven by patriarchy that we have legitimized the chastising of victims of rape by means of “jokes”. These jokes are not only insensitive and disgusting; they are dangerous and supportive of the status quo concerning our current discourse on rape and crimes against women. Rape jokes give rapists the green light to continue raping, because after all, the act is only going to be turned into a joke, and the victim will just become a punch line. Rape jokes lighten up the discourse when it needs to be stern and strong for the victims and their families. Diminishing rape from the heinous and cowardly act it is to something that just happens to loose women is the reflection of a society that has become so inanely detached from humanity that it chooses to laugh for convenience.
The rape culture exists because men allow it to exist. That is the utter truth, and it is not going to change until we can have a real discussion of the real issues surrounding the topic. Lives depend on it.
If smashing the rape culture is not a priority of yours, then you are not a comrade of mine.