My friend, Aiyahna, told me something like this. She was talking to a girl from a sorority. I thought she was interested in joining. She was actually asking about how she lost all that weight. Mind you, my friend is a big girl. When I expressed to her how shocked I was because I thought she liked being herself, and she says, “Let me tell you a secret, James. No big girl likes being big. I don’t care how much they say they love themselves. There are always days when you hate it.” I damn near cried. That’s some crazy shit to feel.
This is so true, especially as a fat black woman. I’m always relegated to Mammy in the eyes of society. The minute I walk through the door, I’m relegated to the sexless, selfless, self depreciating Mammy.
And there are time when I seriously feel like I want to cry because of how much negativity I receive on a daily basis from damn near every external force out there telling me that my body is absolutely WRONG and I should be ashamed for existing while fat.
It’s fucking hard to be positive when the narrative written for you is always riddled with shame and hate against you.(via sourcedumal) (via xtremecaffeine) (via amodernmanifesto)