Question Everything

zeitvox:

Charlemagne Dynamite - 2/28/12

Something’s bugging me about the tenor of hope I hear for Santorum in Michigan. The hope for a harrowing harbinger of doom. The desire to see a fucked up party degenerate further, ever asunder unto a confused morass of the basest elements.

But notice what we’re looking at here!  Nothing less than the loss of epidemiological - or, well, environmental containment. There’s a reason we frequently say ‘southern’; and in cultured conversation it usually connotes the vibe of a realm dominated by a lazy, furtively cunning, yet superficial consciousness. It means a place marketing demographics determines as “shotguns and sixpacks”. God knows what they call the middle class buds on this invasive plant. 

You guys, you with visceral disgust for things Republican rooting for Santorum - well some of you - you know what I’m talking about. You know that even though Romney’s schtick is painfully shallow and not betraying any capacity to go deeper, a preference for Santorum means capitulation to the South. It’s like Alabama beating Notre Dame, like MoTown under the heel of Tennessee Ernie Ford. Okay, maybe I’m reaching.

But Godsdamnit be careful! Where’s your sense of sanctity? Are you really pumped to see a discrete regional divide, the fucked up lazy absurd ideological festering sore that is the South, reach so far north like a pseudopod of ill bred cretinism reaching out to feed on minds newly stung by whatever-the-fuck turns rational potential into a dung heap of sloppy sentiment?

Michigan, just say no.