As I watch this Republican presidential primary season proceed in a manner roughly consistent with the course of the Costa Concordia, it has led me to a suspicion I feel honour-bound to share: I think the Republicans are throwing this thing. I’m not yet sure why. It could be that it better sets them up for a president they actually want in 2016, or that Mitt Romney made a $10,000 bet against himself, or that there’s some sort of a sweater-vest endorsement deal in it for Rick Santorum.
As I said, I’m not sure why. What I am sure of however, is that they can’t really be trying to win. The thing about elections is that to win them you need voters willing to, you know, vote for you. And at the current rate the Republican Party is going, they may have to start resuscitating every dead white male since the Whiskey Rebellion to have any shot at winning outside of Utah, or a Gingrich-family-settled lunar colony.