"My response to the “I am not a feminist” internet phenomenon….

First of all, it’s clear you don’t know what feminism is. But I’m not going to explain it to you. You can google it. To quote an old friend, “I’m not the feminist babysitter.”

But here is what I think you should know.

You’re insulting every woman who was forcibly restrained in a jail cell with a feeding tube down her throat for your right to vote, less than 100 years ago.

You’re degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis center, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement.

You’re undermining every woman who fought to make marital rape a crime (it was legal until 1993).

You’re spitting on the legacy of every woman who fought for women to be allowed to own property (1848). For the abolition of slavery and the rise of the labor union. For the right to divorce. For women to be allowed to have access to birth control (Comstock laws). For middle and upper class women to be allowed to work outside the home (poor women have always worked outside the home). To make domestic violence a crime in the US (It is very much legal in many parts of the world). To make workplace sexual harassment a crime.

In short, you know not what you speak of. You reap the rewards of these women’s sacrifices every day of your life. When you grin with your cutsey sign about how you’re not a feminist, you ignorantly spit on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years. You bite the hand that has fed you freedom, safety, and a voice.

In short, kiss my ass, you ignorant little jerks.”

Libby Anne (via newwavenova)


(Source: dumbledoresarmy-againstbigotry)

To the people who wash their hands of us, of the voices with bruised knees and hearts banging in our chest too loudly to let us sleep, to those who walk with blinders on because it can’t be as bad as we say it is, to those who don’t believe,

Would you want your daughters grow up in this society?

Why is it that unless someone you love is staring down the barrel of a gun, you finally start to worry that it might be loaded? How is it possible that you have been surrounded by a constant chatter of voices saying “This world is cruel, and we have been broken,” but for some reason, you pride yourself on assuming we are wrong - god forbid someone be a “feminist,” not one of those, not those bitches

here is my feminist agenda, and it is a little girl on the streets of her city, and here are her rapists telling the police, “she looked older, she looked fifteen.” Here is more comments on what she was wearing than the smell of gasoline on their fingers, than the wounds they left on her and in her soul, here is my manifesto: I will not let there be any more stories about little girls.

I will not let there be stories about teenagers who are swallowing selfhatred and nothing else, I will not watch them be called sluts for dressing in shorts, I will not hear stories of girls who are burning themselves into nothing because their teachers refuse to use the correct pronouns, I will not let any person who defines themselves as a girl become a side note, a sex toy, a background dancer. I will protect their bodies and their souls and I will not let you buy them anymore, I will not let you lead them into the hellhole I walked out of. I will keep shouting the same thing, over and over: “Don’t listen to anything they tell you, it is who you are that makes you beautiful - and not anything they could sell you,” I will not let you infantalize them by assuming they “simply cannot” learn about sex without becoming “impure.” You will no longer put teens in their underwear across the front pages, I will not let you sexualize them any longer, they will be in movies for dialogue instead of silent romantic action.

Here is my goddamn manifesto: young women should not think that sexual assault “just happens” and is something everyone should expect. Their bosses should not be like the beefy 6-foot Tyler who asked me “Are you a slut? I bet you’re a slut,” in the middle of the office, their coworkers should not call them up at four in the morning and whisper dirty drunken things over the phone like my friend’s did. Young women should not believe that silence is the best option because it means they make no enemies and get to keep their job. You don’t believe it can be as bad as we say because are not under the assumption that every day, one item will be stolen from you. You would be horrified if that happened. Yet a million things are taken from women and it is constantly happening - every time a politician calls a college girl a “slut” for wanting birth control, every time we’re told our body has some mystical way of “shutting down that sort of thing” as pregnancy control, every time a lady gets turned down as C.E.O

You want my feminist rant? You want the bodies I have counted among the broken ones, our backs heavy with every slur you throw at us, our arms carrying your babies and your mistakes and your expectations and your fucking society that you made this way

you want my mani-fucking-festo? My riot act? The reason for all this anger I have? It’s because my best friend drank from the wrong glass. See, some asshole was trying to roofie a girl at a party my best friend happened to attend - he got drugged instead. And when he woke up, it was in somebody’s bed. And you wanna know something? They told him he should feel lucky because he got laid, at least. He remembers nothing from that night. Not one single thing.

And my best friend? My best friend will never see justice for this, because rape is a joke. It doesn’t really happen unless the girl is asking for it. Rape is seen as the attack in the alley. Rape is not close, it’s not home, it’s not a broken bone that never sets for you. Rape is not a sore subject to you because your friend has not wept bitterly about her abortion she was forced into after her boyfriend raped her without a condom. Your friends are largely safe, and the ones that haven’t been have kept silent. You don’t have a sister so you never feared for her life just because she went out into the city late at night.

But you might have a daughter. Tell me you’d laugh about feminism then, tell me you’d really think it’s such a fucking joke when you realize you haven’t been fighting the way the world works. And now she’s going to grow up with the same war wounds you have ignored in everyone else, the same silenced battle cry, the same downcast eyes and shrinking spine and splinters in more places than you could ever pick out and it won’t happen at sixteen years old it won’t happen at eleven

it happens before she is born. You will be in the toy aisle of the store and you will look around you to the guns and army men and violence of boys and suddenly notice the soft pink wilting flowers that you are supposed to buy for your girl

and when that happens, when you realize that the world you have laughed at has now become her battle: do still you want us to be too quiet to disturb your sleep when that happens? Or do you want to hear our feet, stamping in the distance, fire in our hands and scales too thick to pierce through, mouths full of teeth and the bones of bullies we have chewed through, hand in hand and ready for her, ready to fight for her right to breathe the same air that you did - ready to make sure she still has some sort of a fighting chance even though you never stood up when we asked for help because you just made a “dirty feminist” joke and went to bed assuming we all shared your laughter

but I don’t care if you are the scum of the earth.
She cannot control her father.
Whomever she is, I swear to god
I’ll protect her.

A boy asked me if I was one of “those” feminists who believed in rape culture and when I agreed instantly, he chuckled and asked “What, are you afraid I’m gonna rape you?” /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

This brought tears of anger to my eyes. Anger at the shear truth of what has been written here. Anger that not only do so many men, even those who have daughters, not care how society is harming them, but so many women also want to blame the victim. They want so much to believe it can never happen to them, they would rather turn a little girl who was raped into a slut than accept the fact that men see girls and women as objects to do with what they please and when they please. Men and women alike refuse to see that it is the objectification of women, the refusal to see women as full human beings worthy of full protection and rights, that is allowing rape culture and misogyny to continue unabated. How do you look at a 12 year old girl and tell her it’s her fault she was raped? If she had only done … NO!!!!! It isn’t her fault and it never was. It’s NEVER the fault of the victim. I do not care if a woman is running down the street naked you do NOT have the right to stop her and force yourself on her. Women do not owe men anything!!! Women do not owe you time, attention, sex, dressing the way you want, saying what you want - women owe you NOTHING!!! The very fact that we are still having this discussion is pathetic and what’s more pathetic is that there are plenty of women who side against the victim as well. All of this just enrages me and many other women and we hear and deal with it every single day, in hundreds of different ways. And then men wonder why we are so angry! If you were being treated as little more than an after thought, an object to be used and thrown away, if you were being told your only use is your youth and beauty - you would be mad as hell too!

I think a lot of people don’t understand that when we talk about these issues—blackface, rape jokes, the appropriation of marginalized cultures, and so on—we are having an ethical conversation, not a legal one. There is no thought police. No one’s coming to your house and carting you off to Insensitivity Prison. But you, as a person living on this planet, get to make a choice whether you want to hurt people or help people. Whether you want to listen or shut people out. I can’t imagine why you’d choose “defensive shithead” over “nice lady capable of empathy,” but okey dokey.
Oklahoma Governor’s Daughter Enrages Native American Protestors (via hellasharks)

(Source: brutereason)

The big lie about capitalism is that everyone can be rich. That’s impossible. Capitalism works only if the vast majority of the population are kept poor enough to never quit working, are kept poor enough to accept distasteful jobs society cannot function without. If everyone were a millionaire, who would empty the trash or repair the sewers? It follows that the poorer the general population is made, the greater the worth of the money held by the wealthy, in terms of the lives which may be bought and sold with it.
Michael Rivero (via apprehensivemiscreant, fucknobigbrother)


I get a lot of questions about sexual desire, pleasure, and orgasm.  I thought I’d try compiling them all and answering them all at once.  [Disclaimer: I reference a lot of other articles in this post, and most of them talk about “women” and “female” like they’re the same thing, or like cis women are the only people reading the article.  Sorry.  I wish I could change the language, but the information is good so I still want you to have access to it.]

  1. What is an orgasm?  What does it feel like?  How will I know that I’ve had one?  An orgasm is the cumulation of sexual pleasure and tension in the pelvic muscles that ends in a release of the tension.  Every single orgasm, even for the same person, will feel different.  This can be because of the person we’re with, the things we’re thinking about, how high or drunk or tired we are.  Some will be mind-blowing, some will be no big deal.  Read more here.
    Please read this article about how to figure out if you’ve had an orgasm.
    Learn about the body during a female orgasm.
  2. Why can’t I orgasm during penetration?  Most vagina-owners cannot.  Kind of a bummer, right?  Especially since we’ve seen all of these movies and tv shows where there’s soft sexy bodies rubbing and thrusting and then WOW BOOM BAM KABLAM ORGASM MANIA.  Not so in real life.  Some people do orgasm vaginally, and that’s awesome.  But if it doesn’t happen for you, no stress.  It’s something you and your partner (or your vibrator) can work on, and if it doesn’t happen, that’s fine, since there are tons of other ways to orgasm.  A combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation works the best for most people.  That can be fingers on the clitoris plus penis in the vagina or vibrator in the vagina plus mouth on the clitoris or dildo in the vagina plus vibrator on the clitoris - the possibilities are endless.
    Try these techniques.
  3. What is “squirting” or “female ejaculation”? Why can’t I do it? Squirting is the term for what happens during orgasm when people with vaginas release clear, non-odorous, non-urine fluid from the body.  It can happen at the height of the orgasm or before.    The Skene’s Glands open up either to tiny holes around the urethra (where pee comes out) or into the urethra itself.  That is often why it may feel like peeing during Squirting.  You can stimulate the Skene’s glands by inserting one or more fingers into the vagina with your palm facing the ceiling and stroking gently at 11 and 1 o’clock, if you imagine the opening of the vagina to be a clock.
    Read more here.
    7 Ways to know if you’re peeing or squirting.
    With Pleasure.
  4. Why am I so dry during sex?  Is it normal to be dry during sex?  Vaginal lubrication during sex comes from stimulation and arousal.  If you’re not aroused, it is easy to be dry, which can lead to discomfort during penetration.  One suggestion is to get yourself more aroused before penetration either by orgasm through vibrator, oral sex, fingering etc before penetration, or by watching porn or reading erotic fiction.  You can also continue to use a vibrator during sex to help you continue to remain aroused.  Use lube.  Use lots and lots of lube.  There are always times when you’re not at 100% aroused but you still want to have sex, or maybe you’re aroused but you still want to be good to your vagina - use lube.  Lube is great, and it helps you to protect the fragile tissue that makes up the vagina.  I labored for years under the false assumption that having to use lube meant I wasn’t a good enough woman, or that I wasn’t a good enough vagina, or something.  I don’t know.  It meant I wasn’t good enough.  But then I realized how absolutely absurd that is!  Lube is fun, it’s sexy, it’s comfortable.  Use it all you like, no matter the situation.  People love to feel wet and to feel that their partner is wet.  But what if that’s not a problem?  I’m 100% aroused and I still dry out really quickly during sex?  Then maybe it’s time to check in with your provider.  There could be a few things going on, and one of them is that when people have vaginal infections like yeast infections or Bacterial Vaginosis, sex can be quite painful for them.  See if that’s going on, and whether it is or not, you can get more information about your body from your provider.
  5. Should sex be painful?  No. No no no no no.  Sex should not be painful, unless you’re in a consensual BDSM relationship in which that is part of your sex play.  If it is painful (the first time or following times), stop.  You can say to your partner, “Wait, this is really uncomfortable right now.  I really want to have sex with you, so let’s do something to make this more comfortable.  How do you feel about going down on me/using a vibrator with me/talking dirty/role play/etc?”  Most of the time, your partner will be just as into it as you, since it is really sexy to make your partner feel good.  If your partner isn’t interested, you can either continue the conversation or say, “Ok, that’s fine.  I think I’m going to wait to have sex with you though, until it’s more comfortable for me.  Let’s try this again tomorrow.”  Or whatever is comfortable to you to say in that situation.
    More about consent.
    Consent is sexy.
    Demystifying Painful Intercourse
    Help for guys who don’t want to have painful sex.

So let’s go over the things we’ve learned here.

  • Orgasms are different for everyone.  They take practice, relaxation, and fun.
  • Use lube.  Use it all the time.  Buy it in bulk.
  • Squirting is fun, it can happen for most people with practice.
  • Try not to get frustrated when things don’t work out right away in your sex life.  Give it time, open yourself up to pleasure.
  • Sex should not be painful.
  • Consent is sexy.

Ok friends, good forth and have fun, sexy, consensual sex!

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